The Nerd's Eye View

I could not sleep. With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy

Jack, Fight Club

I've had a weird sleeping problem for the past month or three. I can't get to bed before midnight and I wake up every day at around 545a or 6a regardless of when I went to sleep. At first it was a source of stupid pride ("Sleep is for the weak!" and "I'll sleep when I'm dead") but lately it's really becoming a concern. While I'm basically wide awake at 6a and pretty functional throughout the day, I feel like I am operating at 75%.

I can't figure out what's going on. I am working out regularly, eating fairly well (or at least no worse than before), but I'm not tired at the end of the day. Even when I am, I can't seem to stop emailing or talking or reading. It could be stress I guess, and lately I've had more dreams than usual, but that's associated with REM sleep right, which should be restful right?

Instead I am pushing through most of the time, sleeping uncomfortably on the BART before or after work. I am testing my limits to see how far I can go, which is a benefit I guess. So far I've discovered that even on vacation I wake up early, though with no work to go to afterwards, I am able to drift off to a fitful half-sleep. It's all very curious and if it weren't happening to me, I'd be fascinated by it. As it is, I am strangely removed from it and interested until the fatigue takes hold and then I am fearful. If it's stress, what can be done to remove it? If it's physiological then what can I do to remedy it? Perhaps it's nothing, just a part of aging.

Tonight, luckily, I feel sleepy. I hope that once I get into bed my head won't be filled with a thousand thoughts like ants streaming around an anthill, drowning out the soft rhythm of sleep with their six thousand footsteps.