The Nerd's Eye View

I could not sleep. With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy

Jack, Fight Club

I've had a weird sleeping problem for the past month or three. I can't get to bed before midnight and I wake up every day at around 545a or 6a regardless of when I went to sleep. At first it was a source of stupid pride ("Sleep is for the weak!" and "I'll sleep when I'm dead") but lately it's really becoming a concern. While I'm basically wide awake at 6a and pretty functional throughout the day, I feel like I am operating at 75%.

I can't figure out what's going on. I am working out regularly, eating fairly well (or at least no worse than before), but I'm not tired at the end of the day. Even when I am, I can't seem to stop emailing or talking or reading. It could be stress I guess, and lately I've had more dreams than usual, but that's associated with REM sleep right, which should be restful right?

Instead I am pushing through most of the time, sleeping uncomfortably on the BART before or after work. I am testing my limits to see how far I can go, which is a benefit I guess. So far I've discovered that even on vacation I wake up early, though with no work to go to afterwards, I am able to drift off to a fitful half-sleep. It's all very curious and if it weren't happening to me, I'd be fascinated by it. As it is, I am strangely removed from it and interested until the fatigue takes hold and then I am fearful. If it's stress, what can be done to remove it? If it's physiological then what can I do to remedy it? Perhaps it's nothing, just a part of aging.

Tonight, luckily, I feel sleepy. I hope that once I get into bed my head won't be filled with a thousand thoughts like ants streaming around an anthill, drowning out the soft rhythm of sleep with their six thousand footsteps.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Turkey Day is here, Charlie Brown, and your old pal (me) is here in not-so-sunny Portland, OR, at the house of my buddy, Phat Munkay and her husband, Papi, and their dog Pico (named for the text editor - yes it's a house of nerds). The smooth jazz is playing, the post-turkey nap has been taken, and lots of pie was consumed. It has been a successful day by all measures. I haven't ever been to Portland before and I haven't been disappointed in what I've seen so far (or rather what I could see what with all the fog and drizzle).

It's been cold and despite my attempts at organization I managed to leave my warm clothes at home, arriving here with one sweater and one long sleeved shirt and a mess of t-shirts and shorts. I had checked the weather online before packing but for some reason had only been concerned with whether or not it was going to rain. It slipped my mind to check the temperatures at all, and so I was a bit surprised to see my breath when I was waiting to be picked up on the curb at PDX. Not a smart move.

The time has been good so far though, with much laughter and eating and even a short, wet walk around the neighborhood. Oregon has some interesting local flora, some of which I had never seen before. It took me a while to acclimate myself to the fact that there was no pervasive smell of urine everywhere. Today was mostly a home day though, and I expect to get out and about tomorrow for some real exploring.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 4:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Just received this short clip on understanding dimensions (especially as physicists see them) and was impressed by the creative and clear (mostly) manner that they were explained. I am not in love with the presenter's slightly smarmy tone, but overall it is a useful little tool.

link courtesy of the Idaho Millionaire

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 8:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I know I know. I said I'd stop being exuberant after two weeks from the election, but this video is simply happy-making.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 5:10 PM | Permalink

As the self-appointed "voice of rational Muslims" everywhere, I feel I have to speak out on (so-called) Dr Ayman el-Zawahiri's recent statement on behalf of Al-Qaeda. He was making a statement regarding the recent election of Barack Obama to the highest office in the land, and has, of course, stirred up controversy. It wasn't the usual threats, or the claims that Mr Obama was a puppet of "the Jews" or what have you, that I found to be particularly infuriating. No, it was the use of the term "house Negro", the genteel cousin of "house nigger", that really lit a fire under me.

The men in the caves in Afghanistan have a particular worldview, which, among other things needs the United States to be both oppressive and openly unjust. While The election of the Mr Obama to the highest office in the land undercuts part of that assertion. This is not to say that the particular audience that they are playing to will necessarily outright reject their message, but perception (especially the subtle ones of Mr Obama's racial make up and complicated religious past) is a powerful thing. Unless the new administration does something nakedly belligerent in the region, the tide of public opinion in the region can be shifted, finally. Frankly, this can/should be assisted with a PR campaign to paint the would-be theocrats in Afghanistan as racists based on these remarks. This would play particularly well in the non-Arab parts of the Muslim world (large swaths of Africa, south and southeast Asia - see where I'm going with this?).

As for me, I never liked these guys to begin with, but this remark just leaves a terrible taste in my mouth. Having been on the receiving end of Egyptian ideas about race and culture, I take even less kindly to this. Hopefully this will backfire on them... hard.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 1:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Cattiness alert: I am getting up to the minute material from the Byrninator on a developing situation at her local Borders:

So, I'm at borders, trying to do some work...and there is a couple right next to me evidently on their first date. And the woman is telling the dude, and I quote, "I am no one's cougar/teacher fantasy." Um...correction...you're not ANYONE's fantasy, Ms. My-hair-looks like a cupie doll. Fucking A.,

And:

the woman is a teacher ... she then tells the dude that now that we are operating under a system of integrated special ed, she has to tailor all of her lesson plans accordingly, "so that means if i have ten special ed kids in my class, i have to modify my lesson plan ten different ways"

[H]ere come sthe part that pissed me off, "so we just pass them, because if we don't, then the parents can come back and ask to see our lesson plans, and i'm not redoing my lesson plans that many times"

I am not a big fan of other peoples' misery, but it's hard to look away from some train wrecks.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Just read this morning that there is a move to have another cease-fire in Darfur. President Bashir (the bald, fat Buckwheat-like figure in the picture below) announced a unilateral cease-fire and that the central government would start disarming militia groups (read: "Janjaweed"). Darfuri rebel groups have basically said they're having none of it but apparently part of the government's strategy is to engage them and promote the cease-fire.

All this is pretty surprising and an abrupt about face for the recalcitrant (almost Bush-like) administration in Khartoum. While there is a lot of speculation from many parties (myself included) that this is a cynical move to lessen support for the ICC's indictment of Bashir, I do think that this is a step in the right direction. Essentially the indictment by the ICC has worked as a better cudgel than the threats of military force or toothless talk of economic sanctions. So long as there is an attempt to follow through, there is a good chance that violence might decrease and frankly that's the main point.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 1:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The other night I had a few friends from the Couscous Collective over for dinner and a movie, as part of my silent movie kick. The evening went well and everyone enjoyed the movie (a silent German full length feature film "The Adventures of Prince Achmed"). As the night wound on most of the guests left, and eventually it was just the Young Marrieds and me. The conversation drifted to Barack Obama's electoral victory of two nights before. We had watched the returns come in together, and during his speech I had gotten insanely choked up, as had Mrs Young Married. We agreed that we had been in spontaneous tears for the rest of that night and most of the rest of the week.

aside: I have always been a little "emotional" (cf a big girl's blouse) and while the emotion of choice has typically been anger, there's also been some tears. As I get older I find that I am more and more prone to having tears sneak up on me. Consequently I get choked up at surprising (yet perhaps wholly predictable) times.

That prompted a discussion of (unusual?) things that made us weep, which is to say, movies or books that for some reason cause you to spontaneous get inappropriately emotional. So I decided to list a few (in chronological order), just as an exercise, to see if there is some sort of pattern (yes, I am an engineer):

• "A.D." (miniseries, 1985) - I was only 10 years old and was watching the scene were young Christian children are given lambskins to wear by a nice Roman who tells them they are going to play a little game. They'll pretend to be little lambs running around! The children are delighted and prance as they are sort of guided out into a courtyard, which happens to be the Coliseum. Then the mastiffs are released, their jowls already bloody from previous sport, and the scene ends as the children start to scream. I ran out of the room to my mother with tears streaming down my face at the unfairness - they were only kids! I said.


• "G.I. Joe" (series, 1985) - still 10 years old (man, how did I not get my ass kicked all day for this?) and as I watched my favorite cartoon, there was a scene where my favorite character - Snake Eyes - was nearly killed in an explosion. I started to wonder whether he'd make it or if he could be killed in some sort of incident! I mean people were firing lasers and throwing grenades all over the place! I freaked out a little and there were some waterworks before I realized it was only fiction and hence it wasn't likely that he'd die on the show.


• "Microserfs "(book Douglas Coupland, 1995) - I had this book recommended to me at Barnes and Noble (by a clerk I subsequently dated for 3 years), and read it through in a weekend. It's the first book that has ever moved me to tears, and one of the few books I felt related to.


• "Umi Says" (Mos Def, Coachella Music Festival 2005) - Mos Def and Talib Kweli were the headliners at Coachella in 2005 and I pushed up almost to the front with the Byrninator after the all the goths left once NIN was done. I am a big fan of Mos Def because he's just lyrically gifted, but even I didn't suspect that "Umi Says" would set me off.
  

  "I don't want to write this down/ I want to tell you how I feel right now ... hey, tomorrow may never come/for you and me, this life is not promised ... I ain't no perfect man/I'm trying to do the best that I can with what it is that I have .... my Umi says, shine your light on the world/shine your light for the world to see."

  
  Just typing the words right now I'm a wreck. It's very clear to me why it makes me feel the way it does, but I have a hard time expressing it. The quickest explanation I can give is that it sings my life and that recognition strikes me like a blow to the chest, since it is so rare. After all my Umi (Mama) said the same thing to me, and while I do my best I feel like I am constantly falling short of that mark.


• "Ghost Town" (film 2008) - this one is slightly cheating, since I watched this movie after breaking up with someone I cared about a lot. The movie's plot follows a particularly cold and misanthropic dentist's attempt to rid himself of a haunting by helping steer his spook's widow away from a suitor. Predictably he has to become charming in his own way, and falls in love with the girl. The part that did me in was when he admitted that he was her dead husband's agent, but that wasn't why he was trying to help, and was subsequently hit by a bus. Cheesy, I know, but at that moment I really felt for the guy, getting rewarded for finally coming out his shell with several tons of steel, rubber and fiberglass traveling at 30 mph.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 11:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I told you that I would stop gloating fairly quickly (at least here and as much as can be expected), and so I want to show you the email I got from John McCain (or his campaign at least). It echoes his very gracious and conciliatory concession speech, which was a model of political courtesy (and as such extremely unpopular with his rabid supporters). In the end, this was a good guy lead astray by the cynics within his own party and hopefully will serve as a cautionary tale for future GOP nominees.

Cindy and I would like to take a moment to thank you for your loyal and steadfast support during the course of this campaign. Governor Palin, her husband Todd, our families, friends and campaign staff extend our deep appreciation for your tireless dedication, support and friendship.

It is the end of a long journey and your support through the ups and downs has meant more to us than you may ever know.

Although we were disappointed with the results, we must move beyond this campaign and work together to get our country moving again.

It is our sincere hope that you will join us in putting our country first and continue to work to keep our nation safe, free and prosperous.

We urge you to join us in not just congratulating Senator Obama, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together as a nation. Whatever our differences may be, we are all fellow Americans.

We are truly blessed to live in this great country and call ourselves Americans, and we will forever be her loyal servants.

Today, let there be no reason now for any American to fail to cherish their citizenship in this, the greatest nation on Earth.

With warm gratitude,

Cindy and John McCain

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 7:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

For making sights like this more commonplace in so-called democracies. I am fairly certain that things like this happen all the time, but for democracies this is just abhorrent and unacceptable. The sound you hear is no one in the US government commenting or condemning it. Thanks W. and Abu Ghraib, thanks a lot.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 11:32 AM | Permalink

Well, truthfully he doesn't, he turns to the 6 million very smart folks who are clustering around and reaching out for positions in the new administration. It basically comes from this BBC article.

Web helps Obama with transition
Barack Obama has turned to the web to help him prepare for the job of US President.

Which actually feels pretty good, since it means that Obama is open to some amount of fun poking (wouldn't want Jon Stewart et al to be out of a job).At least the Onion has gotten a head start.

Doesn't mean that there isn't a ton of work, but he's apparently already on the case. But for the moment, I am still basking and enjoying the creative output of the event, like this set of Presidential portraits, and headlines.

headlines link courtesy of Aram

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 8:49 AM | Permalink

Hopefully this will be the last time that I gloat over this historic victory....

After the results were in last night I went to several international news websites for more perspective. In the South African Mail and Guardian, I read the reactions their reporter got off the opposition, like thisTexas Republican supporter:

"I do not know how I feel," she said. Then she found her voice. "My reaction is: what is America thinking? How could he get hold of the country? I am afraid our way of life is about to change drastically," she said.

Think how we felt TWICE over the last two years lady. The paper's analysts agreed with the feeling I'd had, which is that the Republican party needed a drubbing in order to rip the scales off its collective eyes and make them reassess.

Experts now predict the Republican party now faces a deep period of introspection. Fault lines are opening that might pit social conservatives against economic conservatives.

The only fear there is the power of denial.

But some people pinned the blame for McCain's defeat on circumstances beyond the campaign's control. They said the political environment was virtually impossible for them and then Obama had run a slick and professional campaign.

"It's been marketing. All around the one word 'change'. They used that to get all these people on their side," said local tech worker Marilyn Martindale.

That's why they call it getting beaten, lady. This wasn't luck, this was hard hard work. McCain could have run a professional campaign too but chose to dick around with bigotry and scare tactics and this is where it got him. He wasn't true to himself, he let himself get led around by the same dirt bags that deep-sixed his own campaign in 2000. I hope this discredits that style of politics for a couple of decades.

The rest of the world is looking on, and celebrating with us. Hell, they're stumbling over themselves to claim him as their own! It's like the world is breathing a sigh of relief, "Oh thank God, America, we were hoping you'd come to your senses!"

In the meantime, I hope our friends and neighbors wake up to the fact that Barack Obama is President of the United States and not supporting the President in a time of war is "unpatriotic" and "un-American". The Real America just got him elected to the White House and it's open to the rest of you if you want to come live here and prosper with us.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 6:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I am witness to history and it is sweet. iPod songs playing spontaneously:

Brush that Dirt of Your Shoulder - Jay-Z
Break of Dawn - De La Soul
(Say it Loud!) I'm Black and I'm Proud - James Brown

Fate approves. Tonight I listened to Saul Williams' "List of Demands" and it carried me home. Tomorrow is a new dawn, and I hope that it stays bright for 8 years.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 1:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Just heard Tina Fey's interview yesterday on Fresh Air, about 30 Rock, and her new found success as Sarah Palin's satirical foil. What a woman!

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 11:04 AM | Permalink

Hey Readers - can I call you 'Readers'? - I thought I'd sit you down for a little chat. Tomorrow you're going to wake up and find yourself in a very different world than the one you live in every day. You're going to be in a world where the decisions you make will immediately affect the direction that the whole country takes. A stroke of a marker (or a tap of a touchscreen if you are in a particularly risk loving area of the country) will turn the pages of the ballot, of the story, of the history books. You can turn the country around and staunch the loss of our good reputation. All it takes is to get out of your house, get over to your local polling station and vote. Vote, for God's sakes people and make a difference, wherever you are.

Posted by Lo Fat Mo at 9:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)