The Nerd's Eye View

This is only technically under travel since it occurred on the day I returned from Italy and on the way back from the airport. The incident encapsulates my life in SF to date:

The good doctor picked me up from the airport, where I was stir crazy and stiff from the 700 hours spent in the middle seat at the back of a 747. We dragged my belongings to the car and made it back into the city by noon. As we rolled down my street, I noticed a hunched figure outside my house. This was no big surprise as my house has some sort of homeless-person cat-nip on it. As we got closer it could make out that it was two figures, one seated on top of the other and I felt kind of happy for the homeless person, as he had a friend now, and gave it no more thought. Just then Dr Germ says, "Are those two shagging?" Of course they weren't, I mean it was noon on a Wednesday, no one would have public sex at a time like this.

At this point I should describe the couple in question. The man was in his mid to late twenties, with a bubble jacket and baggy jeans on. He was what might be described as a "thug" in the current vernacular. The woman was, I'd say, between 30 and about 90. She had seen "better days" and the whole situation made me think that this was a "business transaction".

Another look confirmed that the doctor was, in fact, right. The man was hastily pulling his jacket around to cover up the woman, who looked somewhat perturbed (who wouldn't be?). They then shifted slightly, as though to imply that they were having a serious conversation about US agricultural policy and the future of subsidies for soy farmers. At no point did it look like they were about to drop the pretense and perhaps pull up their trousers. The good doctor wanted to pull further forward on our street to park despite the fact that there was a space right in front of my house (and consequently in front of the two agricultural policy buffs). I was immediately outraged and demanded she stop in front of the house. I had had a long trip and I wasn't about to show some sensitivity to the privacy of the two people engaged in a sex act outside MY house. So I got out and began to pull my luggage out of the car. A glance in their direction further solidified my "business transaction" theory, as the woman seemed discomfited and the man had a resolute look on his face that seemed to say, "dammit, I paid for at least another 8 minutes and I'm not stopping now!" Mind you this is in the middle of the street, in the middle of the week in broad daylight.

Welcome back to San Francisco.