The Nerd's Eye View

A little fiction. But at least it's something fairly put together, consistent and only as far from the truth as the handle of door is when you're fumbling around in the dark. It's rich with detail and cheesy though it may be, it's got life to it.

I was at a party recently and it wasn't going well. In an attempt to liven it up for myself I started trying to mingle and meet folks. Now I'll admit I was going about it in a slightly boorish way, having given up the idea of having any fun and at this point just trying to sharpen my observation skills. So I walk up to two women, one of whom looked South American and the other who was hard to pin down. By way of conversation I ask where she's from and she says Colombia, which is odd because she looks Brazilian and I say so. Her friend responds that they're both Colombian [how lovely!] and apropos of nothing tells me that they are married.

aside: This is the point where I stop time and look around. I take a quick stock of the situation and read the whole story. I am - to them - some boorish, drunken male trying to "get to know them". They are trying to discourage me as quickly as possible and since I seem to fit the model of an ignorant male (where do they get these ideas?) they go for the easy bait.

Back to our story: So you're married, that's wonderful! How long? 2 years. "2 years!" I say, and probe a little further. Now I'm no big city lawyer, but I can ask a good question or two when I've a mind to, and I can certainly smell bullshit when it is presented to me in a bakelite bowl. So I smiled and asked more questions and watched. Then they left, I left, and I thought nothing of it. At first.

A bit later I started thinking about it, and I got a little peeved. Now mind you, I'm not interested in either of these girls, but I am interested in their story. I am mostly interested in what made them think I'd buy it. I mean it's not impossible or even implausible for two women to be married, certainly not in the Bay Area. But it's insulting that they'd go with the obvious "we're lesbians" ploy - a cliche in the party environment. Especially when their story is flimsy and painfully extemporaneous. It's not the lie that's the problem, it's the shoddiness of it, it's the poor story and the lack of regard for the audience, viz me. I'm a big fan of workmanship, of the craft of it, and terrible disappointed when people take the easy way out.