La Racisme
It all started with my cousin's phone call last weekend. She was worked up about a visit to Bayside. Bayside is a mostly white neighborhood in Queens, NY, famous for its Sopranos-like residents and for race issues. It's no Bensonhurst but then again, does it have to be? At any rate, the car she was in was blocking the street and when honked at they moved it. In response she and her girlfriend were met with the finger, and then, at the window of their car, a belligerent middle aged gent who (of all the words he could have possibly used to express his displeasure) chose to use the word "nigger". "Just like a nigger," he apparently said to them, repeatedly.
My cousin was, understandably, in shock. After all, this is not 1955 and she was not in Mississippi, and yet here she was hearing the sort of language that one had thought confined to movies about the "bad old days". I tried to calm her down on the phone (this is days after the event mind you), and remind her that she did the right thing by not starting a ruckus right there in the street. That would have been playing into his hands and in a neighborhood like that could have caused her far more pain than just to her dignity. Still I was appalled by the whole thing and I shared her impotent rage. How could such a thing be said in this day and age?
Flash forward to today, at the morning meeting, where one our mid-level managers (Keifer) was referring to something that hadn't happend in a long time as not having happened in "a coon's age". I'm not sure if he realized that the expression has nothing to do with raccoons or any other cuddly woodland creatures. I felt a cold knot in my stomach that was mirrored by the silence in the room. Even our Ditka-like floor supervisor shot me a glance of "are you going to flip out?" My leg twitched and I calmly stood up and walked out of the room, and took the corporate way out - a strongly worded email. Does that make me a coward or a fool? It certainly made me an angry oaf that I snapped at my lunch partners and stomped off to eat by myself.
Comments
I hardly think it cowardly to make your displeasure known, however you go about it (apart from total passive agressiveness which is easily missed).
Better - like you said to your cousin - in some cases not to make a public ruckus - especially if, like me, you feel the blood drain from your head, and see white or red. Things can get pretty ugly during unconscious states of rage. I have only learned this after the fact. Trust me, it's waaay worse than writing a letter. I'm using three A's.
Recently, I decided for my family's sake to speak at my Uncle's memorial. I didn't call him a dispicable molesting son-of-a-bitch (another term that the world could probably do without) - even though that was, to me, a huge part of his personality. I spoke about "The Good Things" (tm). That was an instance when turning the other cheek felt right in the moment, but in retrospect, I felt that betrayed myself in favor of my family.
Family=all of humanity sometimes.
All that to say, I just don't know what the "Right" thing to do is, but you did *something*. Many people don't even do that. Which takes GUTS!!! Which you obviously have.
Pause...
Er, maybe you meant that as a rhetorical question...
Posted by: Boegle | February 3, 2006 6:13 PM
The worst part is that ignorance is typically held up as an excuse and while I can understand that on an intellectual level, it doesn't make me feel any better.
Posted by: Lo Fat Mo | February 4, 2006 10:34 AM
Unfortunately, standing up and inserting your foot in that guy's ass is not PC [not that what he said was either] or work friendly. Unless you want to find another job.....
You did the right thing, showed your immediate displeasure with what was said and then writing an email to that bag of douche. In the working world you have to play the game, but find the right way to voice your opinion. Ya done good Johnny.
Posted by: Janmichael | February 6, 2006 12:32 PM
"Coon's age" is NOT a racist term. It actually does refer to raccoons:
http://www.thetimesherald.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050818/NEWS01/508180312/1002
Posted by: Ranger Rick | February 6, 2006 12:53 PM
Thanks Janmichael, it wasn't easy or as satisfying as the proverbial insertion of the foot into the posterior.
And I'm taking it all in stride Ranger Rick. Note the lack of ass-foot contact.
Posted by: Lo Fat Mo | February 6, 2006 7:00 PM
But as for the guy yelling at your cousin... That's why God gave us steel-toe Doc Martins.
Posted by: Jackson | February 7, 2006 2:43 PM
Well, Amen to that Brother Peel! Praise Doc Marten and pass the ammo...
Posted by: Lo Fat Mo | February 7, 2006 7:55 PM